How Roger Ebert Should've Reviewed "The Raid"
The Raid: Redemption BY ROGER EBERT / March 21, 2012 (modified by Indofreak/ March 27, 2012) Cast & Credits Rama Iko Uwais Jaka Joe Taslim Mad Dog Yayan Ruhian Sony Pictures Classics presents a film written and directed by Gareth Evans. In Indonesian, with English subtitles. Running time: 101 minutes. Rated R (for brutal bloody violence throughout and language). This film is about...
How many times have I been watching this? 538 and still counting. I hate shopping and yet I’m willing to splash out money on this sort of thing. Who cares about the actual products? Look at the packaging! If I didn’t buy at least one piece, I’d be questioning my very own nationalism. It may or may not have anything to do with patriotism but from my point of view, I call it...
Me: "Who's your favourite black actor?"
Karen: "Denzel Washington, of course. Wait, don't tell me that yours is Will Smith."
Me: "Nah. Will Smith is more of a black supermodel than an actor to me. I'll never see him as a talented one, my judgement is always clouded by his hotness. It's Terrence Howard. I can't quite explain why, but I like his acting better than Denzel Washington's."
Karen: "So neither of us picks Laurence Fishburne?"
Me: "Oh, the Matrix chap? Nah. I think I only saw him in the Matrix and I never finished watching it. Never seen him in any other movie. His name is Fishbone, by the way."
Karen: "No. Fishburne. You've got it wrong this time."
Me: "I'm pretty sure Fishburne is a type of hair-braiding. Either that or parking format."
Karen: "You're not serious. Fishbone is what you meant."
Me: "Wait. I think you're right. Fishbone is the dog-adaptation of classic characters, right?"
Bree: "No no no. It's Wishbone. You know it's Wishbone."
Karen: "Bree, I think you jumped in too early. This kind of conversation can last forever you see, and any sentence that starts with 'you know' is a real buzzkill."
Me: "Like what Buzz Killington always does."
Karen: "Yeah. Buzz Killington, alright.
Bree: "Who's Buzz Killington?"
Me: "Why, haven't you heard about a nuclear plan named after him? He's quite phenomenal, you know."
Karen: "I'm sure you mean Bruce Partington."
Bree: "Who's Bruce Partington?"
Karen: [awkward silence] "..."
Bree: "Yeah, seriously."
Karen: "Yeah, it's okay. Who's hungry?"
Bree: "I hate you both!"
Hey, you. Yeah, you.
Forgive me if I seem to disrespect you. It’s just that I find it very hard to conceal my dislike towards people who own Blackberries (or Iphones) but don’t have any ‘pulsa’ to text let alone call.
Book-burning, my eye!
It’s funny how a certain group of people waste their time burning books. I mean, really, how many people you know read books? I know the last books most of my friends read were college textbooks, and imagine how many years ago it was. Sorry, I take that back. They do read certain books, just so they can say, “Ugh, the book is so much better that the movie.” That’s it. Have...
That Tiny Little Detail
Bree: "It's a three-day trip. What book are you bringing?"
Me: "I haven't decided yet, but it's going to be one of Kurt Vonnegut books."
Bree: "I thought you didn't read American literatures."
Me: "I never knew you'd honour me with such censorship. I may not be a big fan of American literatures, but I know a good author when I read his book."
Bree: "And to what did Vonnegut owe the dubious pleasure of your good judgement?"
Me: "To his honest remark on semicolons."
Bree: "That's it?"
Me: "That's it."
Just the other day I had to sacrifice 1 hour of my life having dinner with an acquaintance. She talked oh so much, no wonder she never got to finish her food by the time we said goodbye. I was not paying attention to her, and nothing to regret about it. Here, let me paraphrase her words: “Hi, my name is Stupidity. I’m part of a massive social circle but I don’t have many...
My friend is an extremist..
So last month, in one of not-worth-remembering phone conversations with del Potro, I mentioned that I was living a rather dull life. He said maybe I should try learning a new language. I thought he was joking, because he knew perfectly well that I was already a very confused person. It’s true. When I speak, I can unconsciously mix three or four languages in one sentence. That’s why I...
Hey sweetheart, next time you want to impress me with your piece of writing, you might want to take this advice: Just translate it from anything but English. That way, it will reduce the likelihood of me reading it before. Try Russian, or Chinese. I speak a little bit of Chinese but I don’t read anything Chinese. Not even whatever they put in the restaurant menu. French is a bad idea....