I did some push ups earlier today (probably the first time since high school) and now my stomach hurts. And it’s only 10 o’clock in the morning.

Not that anyone cares, but here’s an update. After the search for a phone earlier today failed, I went straight home and climbed up my bed. I took a two-hour nap and woke up feeling refreshed. First thing that came to mind? “Screw it, I’m going to another mall looking for a phone. If I can’t find a Lumia 820, I’ll just settle for whatever I can afford at the first phone shop.”

So later the same day, I went out again. Mainly because I remembered a friend had actually said these exact words to me, “Lo kebanyakan mikir sih. Giliran ngambil keputusan, barangnya keburu abis.”

Like I was going to let him say ‘I told you so’ this time. Anyway, as expected, no Nokia for me. And the first phone shop in sight after walking around for a little over one hour was iBox. Yep, I caved in to the temptation of the poisonous Apple. Had Snow White taught me nothing at all?!

Oh and one more thing. The old SIM card I’d been using for years wasn’t compatible with the new iPhone (surprise surprise). It was soooo old the Apple guys said they couldn’t do anything with it. So I said, “Try this one then,” while taking out a one-year old SIM card of my tablet.

“Yeah, this I can cut into a micro card,” said one of them. So I let him. Except I wasn’t thinking ahead. Without a SIM card, my tablet is practically useless. I can’t even get on Whatsapp. And even with a SIM card (freshly cut), my new iPhone isn’t functioning yet because I don’t know how to get the old contacts from the previous iPhone onto the new one. And somehow the tablet is now rejecting the uncut SIM card no matter how hard I try to put it in. And now the old iPhone refuses to recognise my super old (uncut) SIM card, even though they belong together in the first place.

To sum it all up, I have three mobile devices and two SIM cards and none of them works at the moment. God help me.

Went to a certain shop in a corner of a swanky mall, feeling excited as I was about to get a new phone. But then I was horribly let down as they told me that the one type that I wanted had been sold out. In fact, I missed the last unit by a day. I immediately told myself, “If there was ever a time to silently get all sweary, this is it.”

Aargh!!!

"Let’s go somewhere for the weekend," he said just the other day.

Instead of replying, I stared at him like he’d just said something extremely stupid. It was a great idea, in fact I loved that idea so much I mentally jumped at the thought. And it pained me so bad to stare at him like that. But he saw it coming. He knew that last month, I’d already blown a sizeable hole in my pocket on the 2-week Toba Trip. And this month, instead of buying a phone, I used the money to get an overpriced gym membership and a new electric oven (yes, I’m fully aware that there’s something oxymoronic in that sentence, somewhere).

Was phoneless (okay, old phone still worked but only just), and immensely tempted by the idea of a weekend getaway. One more purchase and I would’ve maxed out my credit card. Again.

"We don’t have to go very far…" I nodded (still hadn’t said anything), mostly because buying air tickets a few hours before flying had never been a good idea, and it still wasn’t. I wanted to go, but I didn’t want to feel irresponsible. I hesitated. Obviously, I really wanted to go. But I also wanted a new phone.

But then I made up my mind. New phone could wait (I still have a tablet and it can be used as a phone should the need arise, as a matter of fact, I’m typing on it), I decided. “Okay, where are we going?”

"Anywhere you want," he replied. Initially, a beach on the other side of the city came to mind. But somehow, I didn’t feel like dealing with Jakartan murderous heat at the moment.

"Let’s go to Bandung," I told him, half-jokingly. I seriously wouldn’t have expected him to be entertained by the idea. Any self-respecting Jakartan knows better than going to Bandung on the weekend. Horrendous traffic is just one of so many reasons.

"Sure, but let’s take a train this time." For a moment I thought my ears were playing tricks on me. I was going to comment on his ‘sarcasm’ until I saw the excitement in his eyes. I gave in. "Alright, but we’re not staying."

He agreed. Don’t get me wrong, I like Bandung but there’s only so much to see.

So, earlier today we hopped on a train which took us to the capital city of West Java. No plan, no spare clothes. I didn’t even bring my DSLR camera since we wanted to travel light. We had on-board nasi goreng and es teh manis for breakfast, just because.

We took a direct angkot to Lembang from the station, and spent hours at the Floating Market before we went back to the station for homebound trip. It was very brief indeed, in fact, we only went there to eat. It was fun nonetheless, probably the most fun I’d had in the past couple of weeks.

And I think he had just as much fun as I did as he is now sleeping like a baby. We’re still on the train and I’m glad I said yes. I may not have a fully functioning phone yet, but I’ll live.

I'm a three-minute girl.
Me: "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Me: "[three minutes later] Wait, that's horrible. I can't believe I laughed at it."

A while ago I went out of town on a media trip. Unlike other fam trips I’d participated in, this one required the journos to pair up and share a room. The girl who asked me to team up with her was looking much better than other women in the group as she didn’t participate in the gossip they were going on about. So I said, “Sure, why not.”

The best part about her was that throughout the day she was mostly glued to her phone so I didn’t have to make small talks. The part I liked the least about her was when, at night after dinner where we got free time and she decided to go on a date, she asked me whether I would mind or not if her boyfriend came and hung out after driving her back.

I said I would. Because I did. I only knew her for a few hours and came midnight I had to share the room with her boyfriend, too? So I told her that wasn’t really a great idea and perhaps she could ask for a separate room. I said all that nicely, or at least I think I did. She eventually decided not to bring her boyfriend in, despite the fact she then forgot about her key card and had to wake me up way past midnight (oh how I regretted giving her my number because I couldn’t go back to sleep afterwards) to let her in.

So we didn’t talk much again until a few hours before we left the hotel (a couple of days later). Believe me, I tried my best to keep the interraction at minimum. Until she asked me if she could borrow my phone charger. This girl must have had more naivete in people ten times as much as I could ever allow myself to have.

She must have been crazy to think that a girl she barely talked to, or should I say, didn’t even bother to talk to, would have ever lent her the charger.

I mean, come on, if you don’t have a charger with and you know you will keep draining the battery out of your flaming phone, at least have enough decency to try and be nice to the person you’re most likely going to ask for help.

Anyway, I said no. Again. Because I’m entitled to say no whenever I’m not in a comfortable situation. I don’t owe her anything and she’s not my Best Friend Forever and I don’t like being used.

And that’s also what I said to a client’s rep today. Same satan’s little spawn with the reason I had left my job last year, irrationally demanding, like an entitled spoilt brat. Only this one came with a new face. What he was asking wasn’t in the contract and me giving him what he wanted (instead of what he needed) would be counter-productive and getting in the way of doing my job, I might have as well spelt out more excuses for him to write down and complain about. I had had that bullshit last year and I’d rather swim through a sea of fire than experience that biblical level of stupidity and recklessness again.

But that’s just me.

End of cynical rant. For today.

On Smoking
The guy I met on a boat across the lake: "So you pretty much are a city girl who doesn't mind travelling solo, loves drinking, will at least try anything once, but don't smoke?"
Me: "Pretty much."
Him: "Why? Have you even tried smoking a cigarette?"
Me: "I did. That's how I know I don't like neither the smoke nor the cigarette. Because I'm very particular about what I put in my mouth."
Him: "Some smokers I know are very particular about food they eat, too."
Me: "That's why whenever they recommend some food or drink, I order something else."
Him: "That's.. mean."
Me: "I am mean."
"If you’re not going to do anything about the answer, don’t ask."

I was going trough one of my old notebooks (real notebooks, not those cute little computers) and found this precious quote. I can’t remember where I got it from as it was from my smartphone-less days (so no photo was snapped to keep the source on visual record), but I’m pretty sure I didn’t come up with that gem. Because I obviously wasn’t even half as wise back then.

If anyone knows who said it, do let me know. Sure, I can just “google” it, that’s how people of our generation work, right? But since I’m ancient at heart, I’ll just wait and see.

Okay, partly because I’m so lazy I’ll let somebody else do it for me.

I just laughed myself to tears after realising that I had mistaken kecubung for kecebong while translating an article on batik. All the way to the end of the said article I was asking myself, “How in the world is an ugly piece of cloth with hundreds of kecubungs on it worth millions rupiah? I’d feel itchy just by staring at it.”

And then after checking the photo to make sure that it’s the correct one, I felt something was wrong. Couldn’t figure out why. So I image-googled kecubung and saw the error of my thought process. As it turns out, a kecubung (amethyst) is not, in fact, an anak kodok. The one I had in my head was kecebong (pollywog).

I’m an embarrassment to my profession.

In the span of two weeks, I’ve learnt to: canoe, fish, cook lobsters in 4 different ways, make spaghetti without pasta machine and sourdough bread (burnt my stomach in the process), make mango wine (and vinegar when it turns bad) as well as marmalade, and process coffee at home (that’s right, from pulping to grinding). And you haven’t even improved your selfie taking skills.